Sunday, 22 July 2012
Lord, I come to you face down on the floor, I can't physically get low enough. I'm struggling, Lord. I need your guidance, your strength. I'm trying so hard to humble my heart, I'm doing all that I can to live in your shadow. Help me, Jesus.. I'm finding it so hard to love the people who hurt, who kill, who abuse... Today in church, you brought me to Jonah. I read the whole book to my kids, we discussed, we learned, we took in many things you wanted us to hear. You know my heart, Lord, you know that I love so unconditionally, I am slow to judge, I'm accepting, I'm forgiving, and I'm quick to appologize. I teach that we are one body, I do not feel above anyone who doesn't believe what or as I do, I try my best to shine your light and spread your love. But there are times, like today when I struggle so badly with loving those people. How did you humble yourself so greatly, Lord..how did you love the ones who mocked you, who spit in your face. How do you love us, when all we do is hurt each other, and screw up so badly. How can I be more like you, Lord? Please... show me. Help me bring myself lower. Help me to see those people as you do. Help me to see that it is your battle. I do not need to fight back. Help me and my awful memory to see that you are on my side, that you understand how I feel, you understand my tears and my pain. I love you, Jesus.. I need your arms around me tighter today, I'm feeling very weak and hopeless.